


to me, times three

by fkaps2point0



Category: True Beauty - Yaongyi (Webcomic), 여신강림 | True Beauty (Korea TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alternate Universe, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-13
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:21:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28593156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fkaps2point0/pseuds/fkaps2point0
Summary: 5 times Seojun makes Jugyeong feel (confused, safe, beautiful, loved) + the 1 time she believes him
Relationships: Seojun Han/Jugyeong Lim
Comments: 22
Kudos: 173





	to me, times three

**Author's Note:**

> Well it was inevitable, lol. Editing is ongoing!
> 
> Disclaimer: This is mostly based on the TV show, but references the webtoon as well (where they actually date).With the direction the show is going, i know JG will remain steadfast in terms of who she likes, so i did have to diverge from what we've seen so far in order to make these two possible in this AU
> 
> Timeline is a bit iffy here, so if there's any confusion I'd be happy to clarify

1\. 

There were many words Lim Jugyeong could use to describe Han Seojun, ranging from mildly unpleasant to annoying beyond belief. From their first meeting, where she involuntarily stole his helmet in exchange for saving his ass (the latter action one which he wholeheartedly remained in a state of denial regarding to this day), their relationship appeared to be ill-fated at its mere conception. At the very least, she didn’t foresee their interactions extending beyond school, the resultant close proximity forcing them to converse with one another whether they wanted to or not. 

Until, she realizes, Seojun is everywhere. Literally everywhere. At the karaoke bar she overheard him singing at, when he showed up at her mom’s salon, his own mother in tow, almost getting exposed in all her bare face glory. And, an encounter Jugyeong would never let him forget, a sight she would never be  _able_ to forget, catching him in leopard print boxers dancing his heart out while she helped Gowoon with her makeup, the former blissfully unaware of the audience observing him from the living room of his apartment. 

He was nearly as hard to avoid as confronting her confusing feelings for him. They weren’t quite enemies, but she certainly wouldn’t refer to him as a simple classmate or acquaintance either. Han Seojun was prickly, slightly irritating at his best, genuinely frustrating six and a half out of seven days in a week. There were countless terms she could use to describe him, but she never thought that a day would arrive when “friend” would be one of them. 

Yet, as proven time and time again throughout the course of their interactions, Han Seojun, their relationship, and everything in between, could be deemed anything but predictable. 

* * *

2.

She notices. It'd be difficult not to.

Jugyeong notices, but remains willfully ignorant. Not wanting to address what it meant that she noticed, nor the connatations surrounding the existence of something that she was able to notice for that matter.

After all, she liked Lee Suho. It was as plain and simple as that. 

However, Jugyeong is not completely unaware of how Seojun stills when she dabs orangey lip tint, a potential gift for his younger sister, gently on his lower lip, using an applicator that had graced her own a few seconds ago. Of how his breath catches, gaze flittering downwards, catching on her mouth, as the contact is exchanged between them. It takes a couple attempts to rouse him out of his stupor, as he clamours for the tester and approaches the nearest sales associate for a packaged product ready to purchase.

It’s cute.

_ He’s _ cute. That much, she can begrudgingly own up to.

But, she’s not sure how to come to terms with her heart beating a tad bit faster when their classmates tease them about their matching outfits. As he picks her up with ease, using a game as a guise, barely breaking a sweat as his arms grip around her tight. She allows herself a singular glance in his direction, met with a stoic Seojun staring far into the distance, as if their close proximity and physical contact was nothing more than a routine happening, a means of winning a game that he claimed not to care about to begin with. 

And when she asks him to sing onstage, receiving a nod and an upward twitch of his lip, mannerisms inherently and endearingly adorable, a satisfied response to her promise of granting him a wish, she has to physically stop herself from gasping at the shock that travels from the length of her spine down to the tips of her toes. 

* * *

3.

“Are you hurt?” Seojun asks fretfully, crouching to meet her seated form, “Hey, whatever it is, I’m sorry. Okay? I’m sorry.”

Jugyeong, in the midst of ongoing sniffles, further bursts into tears at the concern lacing his tone, so unlike him, but simultaneously believable. "Why," she manages to muster through fits of pitiful sobs, "Why doesn't Suho like me?"

It’s not in her nature to get overwhelmed in front of a guy. In front of anyone, really. After being humiliated by her peers in the worst kind of way, Jugyeong learned how to meticulously maintain a facade, allowing it to guard her, protect from the inevitable hurt that seemed to follow her around like a moth chasing light. 

"I told you not to tell me."

Jugyeong catches his voice falter from the admission, before she feels a soft touch brushing away the tears streaking her cheeks with the utmost gentleness. Featherlike and barely perceptible, so contrary to the despair welled up inside her that she was finally able to release. In front of Han Seojun of all people. 

For whatever reason, she felt safe around him. It was a realization that emerged shortly after she returned to her tent in a haste. As she laid awake, willing away the remnants of her breakdown as she pondered over thr details of an encounter she wouldn’t have picked up on had she not paused to reflect.

The morning after, bleary eyed and desperately trying to erase the traces of her meltdown still lingering in her mind, as she boards the bus, Seojun sidles up and takes the seat next to Jugyeong as if nothing happened hours before. Proceeding to tease her, poking fun at the dark circles under her eyes, joking around boisterously with his friends and her own sitting around them. Within minutes she was jabbing right back at him, arguing and bickering as if nothing had shifted following their preceding interaction. Last night effectively faded away as if it was a fever dream she’d somehow conjured up by the same crazy imagination that turned boys into vampires and devils disguised as angels. A moment of weakness lost in the midst of playful banter she had slowly grown fond of as time went on, as she got to know Seojun better, beyond the image he insisted on maintaining. 

He made her stronger. He let her forget. 

* * *

4.

Jugyeong feels her pulse as it hastens in intervals. Faster as Seojun leans forward, quicken to unbearable speeds as his gaze shamelessly flickers downwards, landing on her lips. And, when his stare lingers, steadfast even as the photographer continues to do their job in the backdrop, oblivious to the scene unfolding in front of them, it feels as if her heart will beat right out of her chest where it was previously safely contained. 

His lips are millimetres apart from her own, his body hovering over hers, limbs on the brink of entangling, when a voice in the background calling a sharp “Cut!” breaks through the trance previously settled over them, entrapping them in a bubble of their own, drowning out the rest of the world in their surroundings.

Seojun offers Jugyeong a ride home when her bus runs more than its average ten minutes late. He mounts his motorcycle, extending an extra helmet towards her nonchalantly. Clearly, one of them was more phased by the prospect of an almost kiss than the other. As her chest presses against his back, propelled forward by the wind sweeping her hair in all different directions, she wonders if the thumping in her chest could be registered by him against the column of his spine. It wouldn’t surprise her one bit, fearing that the organ’s limits were already being tested beyond what it could realistically withstand.

For a brief moment, her feelings for Suho, the fond memories she associated with him, their friendship, dissipate, inevitably resurfacing at night while she lies awake restlessly in bed, staring at the flickering night lamp set up on her nightstand, struggling to come to terms with the truth she could no longer delay confronting.

Suho was everything she wasn’t. Calm and collected to her easily overexcited self. He loved the same comics she loved, saved her when she needed saving. Attractive, smart, rich, respected, the list of qualities went on. She should have been grateful to have her feelings, sentiments she was previously confident in, reciprocated by the sweet, basically perfect boy sitting in front of her. It would have been so easy. It had been easy. Until it wasn’t. 

"I don't know what I feel about him," Jugyeong admits the next day, sitting beside him at Prince Comics, a location that was for all intents and purposes their place, "All I know is that it's unfair to you to pretend like there's nothing there at all." 

  
"I'm sorry," she offers, wishing with all that she had in her that her feelings for him could have been enough.

"You have no reason to be,” Suho replies understandably, a sad smile gracing his otherwise grim expression, “How could I fault you for going after what you want when I was doing the same?"

They part for the day on good terms. And their friendship, to Jugyeong’s utmost relief, surpasses whatever romantic feelings that previously simmered underneath its exterior. Suho was her first love, she would continue to love him, probably for the rest of her life. But when it came down to it, she wasn't in love with him, as convenient as it might have been. 

On a whim, she pulls her phone out of the back pocket of her jeans, thumbing a message out, its intended recipient the object of her constant, relentless confusion.

** Han Seojun **

Tell me  
15:30  


  
What?  
15:31

Your wish, remember?  
During the overnight trip  
15:44  
  
I told you if you sang I’d grant you a wish  
15:46

He doesn’t respond for awhile. It was stupid to think he’d remember an event that happened so long ago, something that probably didn’t even mean all that much to him. Then,

Watch a movie with me tomorrow  
16:01  


That’s it?  
16:03

Lunch too  
16:07

He chooses a cheesy action-comedy flick, and she opts for a cheap street side restaurant serving crispy ssamgyeopsal and freshly prepared side dishes. They laugh until tears form at the corners of their eyes from the antics of the characters onscreen, sharing a bag of popcorn, hands brushing against one another when they reached inside at the same time, accidentally, then on purpose, lingering as the contact increased in frequency. Seojun pours her water, refilling as she emptied out her glass throughout the meal. Jugyeong wraps the greasy pork belly in shards of lettuce, placing them on a plate in the middle for them to share.

It feels habitual. Between harmless jokes and playful banter that flows as naturally as it felt to take her next breath, a whole afternoon fades into dusk.

She could get used to it. She fears she already has. 

Seojun walks her home, disregarding her attempts to persuade him otherwise with excuses of their places being situated in opposite directions.

His proclamation is abrupt, but then again, he had proven himself to not be someone who held back when his mind was set on something. "Jugyeong," he calls out, causing her to halt in her tracks as she opened the gate to her doorway, "Do you want to go out with me? I promise, I'll treat you well."

It's a question that makes her flush. A deep, full body blush that causes her cheeks to pink and her whole being to warm until she's effectively reduced to a mess of nerves.

"Okay."

Her reply slips out before she can pause to ponder over it. Carefully assess the situation at hand, think it over once, then once more, gauge and filter through the cons with a fine toothed comb until something stuck. After all, this was Han Seojun. Her quasi-enemy turned beloved friend. Losing him would ruin her, and a relationship was a surefire way of sealing their fate. 

Still, the affirmation comes easy, much like the rest of the night had. 

Relenting as rapidly as she had, not holding out, even if solely for her own ego, was worth it when she glances back after Seojun walks away, unaware of her eyes following him as he flailed, face buried in his hands embarrassedly. Giggling, she unlocks the door at the entrance and heads inside, her hand still warm from where he lifted it to press against his burning cheek, the aftermath of her acceptance of his proposition. 

Whatever happened next, however they ended up, she hoped with all the willpower in the world she could muster, that her choice would be worth the risks associated with it.

* * *

5.

"I wish I could have been your first love, like you were mine." 

“Hm?” Jugyeong hums against Seojun’s chest where her head laid across it, momentarily lulled by his steady breaths causing it to rise up and down to a soothing, rhythmic tempo, as they occupied the front steps leading up to his apartment building. 

“Sometimes I get scared, you know,” he starts, prompting her to lift up, gaze meeting his as he tucks a stray strand of hair that had come loose from her ponytail behind an ear, “That you’ll realize this isn’t what you wanted and pursue that instead.”

“You mean Lee Suho?”

“He’s your first love, after all. Kind of hard to compete with that.”

“You would be right,” Jugyeong grasps his face, forcing him to look at her again after his vision strayed following his confession, “Except, right now, in this moment, I’m sitting with you.”

“Sure.”

“Hey, Han Seojun,” she says, “Do you have any idea how much I like you?” She punctuates the admission with a wide smile, hoping it’s bright enough to compensate his downtrodden spirit. 

“I don’t think I’m convinced.”

She kisses him. Then, kisses him again. Longer, deeper the second time around, pouring her feelings across the width of his lips, feelings that felt too complicated, too intense to encompass and define using mere words as a medium. 

He’s the first to pull back, parting to allow them the space for much needed air. “You’re beautiful, you know?”

A pit forms at the bottom of her stomach, heavy in weight, solid in the way it obstructed her thoughts. If only he knew the reality behind the girl he’d mistaken as beautiful. 

“As if.”

"You don't get it, do you?"

"What do you mean?"

“The attention from all those random guys on Instagram, how people look at you when you pass by them on the street. You’re telling me you’ve never noticed?”

She did. At first, she revelled in it. Being the subject of positive attention for her appearance out of all things. The same face that had been made fun of her whole life suddenly categorized acceptable due to a couple swipes of product across her face and a newfound confidence resulting from the reactions to the aforementioned. Of course she noticed. For once, it felt good to be recognized. 

But, as the attention lost its sparkle, as it became normalized instead of a newfound experience, it dawned on her that the recognition was for a person that didn’t really exist. The Lim Jugyeong of Instagram and social media fame was a fraud, hidden under a shroud of good lighting and impeccable makeup skills completely altering the face of the woman whose roughened complexion they served to coverup beneath them. 

Jugyeong avoids addressing his remarks, “Your earring’s tangled.” Comes out a hushed murmur instead, as she moves to unravel the chain from its knot, abandoning the motion in favour of laying a swift peck on his cheek. Seojun responds by easily lifting Jugyeong into his lap, a deep, open mouthed kiss rewarding her efforts. 

At the back of her mind, a persisting reminder continues to fester:

_ " He doesn't know what you really look like. What's going to happen when he finds out? Do you actually think he'd  _ still _ like you then? " _

She ignores the what ifs in favour of what she knows with certainty, blindly following facts towards the edge of a never ending, bottomless chasm.

It's a slightly humid summer evening. The air is dense, the street lights warm as they almost twinkle against the dark expanse of the night sky. Traces of strawberry flavour from the ice cream they shared coated the inside of her mouth, sugary and sticky sweet. Han Seojun is kissing her. Like he means it. Like he could love her, despite who she really was, hidden underneath the carefully crafted persona she had perfected to a tee.

A brave thought. Perhaps, a hopeless one.

She feels like she's falling, in the best possible way.  And fall she does. Straight into the abyss, mind vacant, occupied with only thoughts about one boy, his lips, and the way they danced around hers to the tune of a symphony that played out soundlessly around them. 

_ Please _ , she pleads to any force in the universe that was willing to listen, whatever patron saint of young love or dreams watching over them at that moment,  _don't break my heart more than I'm capable of withstanding._

* * *

+1

The rain catches them by surprise. A forecast of clear skies and sun they hoped to take advantage of, utilizing it as the backdrop for a picnic date after several weekends spent apart due to coinciding appointments and work commitments, was interrupted by jolts of lightening and thunder claps erupting with a vengeance as the grey, overcast clouds looming above them burst into tears. Taking cover under an awning of one of the small shops lining the street, Seojun attempts to shake out the water from her hair, laughing when Jugyeong whines at him to stop his ministrations. 

“Do you want to come over?” He inquires, as the torrential droplets began to cease a few minutes later, slowing to a trickle.

_ What? _

“What?”

“I just-“ he cuts off, rubbing a shaky hand through his hair before continuing, “No one’s at home. You can wash up, we can hang out.”

“Hang out?”

“Hey,” he admonishes, crossing his arms defensively across his chest as he chides,“What are you thinking? Don’t misunderstand!”

“I’m not!” She fires back, shoving his shoulder lightly. 

He chuckles, sobering almost immediately, “But seriously,” he repeats, “Just come over. My place is closer anyway, I can drop you off on my bike after if it stops raining.”

“What if it doesn’t?”

“You can stay the night?” He proposes, reassessing his reply when her face turns shocked, “Or, I can walk you home. I guess.”

“Are you disappointed?” She teases after a beat, recomposing herself, “Who’s misunderstanding now?”

When the showers slow to a near stop, Seojun leads them through the short distance back to his apartment, hand in hand, soaked picnic basket weighed down by leftover food and damp wicker. He places a possessive grip on her waist, grasp tightening as the elevator leading up fills at capacity with other residents. 

She’s reminded of the time they went shopping together, sandwiched between other department store patrons. This time, she leans against him comfortably, closing her eyes in a moment of fleeting respite as they travelled upwards, the elevator making multiple stops as its occupants filtered in and out.

It’s not like she hasn’t been here before, she thinks, when the pair finally arrive at his place. She's spent plenty of days here with Gowoon, preparing for her performances or simply to bide quality time together. Seojun’s mom had invited her over for dinner countless times after he officially introduced Jugyeong as his girlfriend.

Maybe it’s the solitude, the lack of female voices welcoming her inside, replaced with deafening silence. A nervous boyfriend who flittered back and forth, exchanging glances with her, the wall, the roof, before handing her a clean towel and offering to wait as she washed up first.

It’s scary, possessing this kind of happiness, knowing that any minute it could be snatched away from her. The fears Jugyeong previously dissuaded had been for naught, she realizes, when she catches her gleaming reflection in Seojun’s bathroom mirror. Her drawn on face, artistry curated by no one other than herself, had been instinctively wiped away, her reflexes kicking in as she rubbed at the remnants of her day vigorously, forgetting what awaited underneath the now disintegrated mask. 

In a daze of excitement, her common sense overridden by the knowledge that she would be alone with Seojun, barring any interruptions in the foreseen future, she’s forgotten the supply of makeup products she toted around in her favourite shoulder bag for emergencies and touch ups in his living room. On the couch. Atop the seat beside him. No way to intercept it that didn’t involve interacting with her boyfriend who patiently awaited his turn to freshen up. 

The borrowed face towel halts in her hands, short of drying her face completely. Her complexion bare, just as disgustingly ugly as usual. Patchy, uneven, the newest cheek blemish she observed sneakily emerging overnight and subsequently concealed without a second thought appeared obnoxiously and even more engorged than it had in the morning under harsh fluorescents and stark white tiles. The barely there eyebrows she painstakingly plucked into thin stripes and redrew into presentable arches were overwhelmingly absent, lips chapped, lacking moisture after using a drying matte lipstick to complete her look of the day. 

If she was barely used to seeing her face without cringing, she could only imagine how Seojun would react to it. 

“Jugyeong?” His concerned voice interrupts her internal meltdown, snapping her out of it.

“Don’t come in!” She almost yells, wincing at the unexpectedly loud volume of her shriek.

“I’m not,” he reassures, pausing a moment before reiterating, “Jugyeong, are you okay?”

“I’m fine!” Jugyeong cries out, trying to subdue the shrillness in her tone, “Totally fine!”

“It’s just, you’ve been in there for awhile. Are you sure you’re alright?”

His persevering concern is the last straw. Resolve weakened, she breaks, unable to hold back the wave of tears that rush down her face, snot, sniffles and all.

“Okay, that’s it. I’m coming in. Move out of the way.”

She opens the door before he does something stupid like breaking it down. 

Seojun approaches carefully as she exits, mindfully keeping his distance until she offers him silent permission to move in closer, “Jugyeong,” he places his hands on her shoulders, bending down, lowering himself to her height as her head hangs and gaze remains diverted downwards, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Everything.” Head still lowered, she whispers, preparing for the worst, “Seojun, I’m sorry.” 

“Sorry? About what?”

Gradually, Jugyeong tilts her face up, gauging an angle that would allow her to meet his eye-line without having to open her eyes themselves. She doesn’t have to see him to imagine the look of disgust that was likely gracing his features right now. Ironically, it was an expression that she’d sadly grown accustomed to after years of being on its receiving end. However, visualizing it on Seojun was heartbreaking enough. She did not need to experience it in real time.

"Hey."

Her eyes reflexively open at the sound of his gentle voice, tears once again threatening to spill and trail down her reddened cheeks. Where she’s expected to be met with a reproachful look of dismay, anger at being fooled all this time, she is met instead by a thoughtful expression. Far from the disdainful jeers and mockery she was put through at the hands of people who were meant to be her peers, some who at one point she considered friends. His gaze is soft, caring even. It was identical to the way he looked at her before today, maybe even more so. If she was an optimist, she’d think he still loved her.

Seojun tips her chin upwards, fingers slightly shaky as they caressed the dry skin littered in patches across the surface, "You're beautiful," he declares assuredly, his gaze melting into her own as he places a soft kiss on one of the tears that made its way across the span of her cheek. 

The same face she loathed looking at longer than necessary. One she’d trained herself to forget existed. 

A swipe of a thumb across her eyelids that had fluttered shut, a whisper as he continues to speak, "You're beautiful," he says again, punctuating it with another kiss, this time on the tip of her nose, prompting her eyes open.

Effortlessly, like he actually believed it. Like it was irrefutable truth. 

Seojun cradles her face, one hand cupping the underside of her jaw, the other curved round behind her head, surging forward as he captures her lips in a searing kiss. Bodies fused together, she gives in, letting him kiss the parts of her that made her feel ugly until they didn’t anymore. His gentle touches and caresses enough to make her believe him too.

"You're beautiful." Comes the final assertion, mumbled across her lips as he pushes forward, delves further, until his presence is ingrained inside her, unwavering and resounding. 

"Why?" She can't help but blurt out as they part, still in awe of how effortlessly he took in her appearance, unflinchingly, as if everything between them remained unchanged. He kissed the parts of her that made her feel ugly, like less than nothing, until they felt whole again. 

He strokes a line from her cheek to ear, soothing the sliver of skin with small circlular motions, "Because you're you," he replies simply, "Not because of what you put on your face every morning. The you that I fell in love with is the Lim Jugyeong who can irritate the shit out of me one minute, and turn me into a flustered idiot the next."

"You, like this," he gestures at her intertwined in his embrace, "It's what I want. It's all I've ever wanted. If you want to be the one to leave, I won't stop you," he pauses, resting his forehead against hers before continuing, "But, I'm not going anywhere. Not before tonight, and not now." Seojun leans back, smiling in a way that causes her own to unconsciously manifest. Tentative, but there, nonetheless.

"So, deal with it. Okay?" 

She winds her arms around his middle, finally a believer, and he clings to her desperately too. Grounding her, such that she’s unable to break out of his embrace, regardless of whether she wanted to or not. 

"Last time I cried like this," she mumbles, clearing her throat as she leans back to meet his gaze, "I seem to remember you calling me ugly." She teases, only half serious.

Poking a cheek in fake annoyance at her misplaced blame, he retorts “I also seem to remember you pining over someone else at the time,” reminding her of their circumstances the last time she unabashedly broke down in front of him, “Couldn’t make it too obvious.”

“How do you think you’re faring now?”

“Not too great, I would hope. Since I’m finally allowed to do this whenever I want.” 

Another kiss, close mouthed, sweet, chaste, and equally as much Seojun as his passionate, fiery, other half was.

“I love you.”

She believes him.

And she knows, without a doubt, that she kind of loves him too.

**Author's Note:**

> Moon Gayoung was the reason I gave this show a shot, and I am absolutely loving her portrayal of JG.
> 
> I like both MLs, however, while i favoured SH in the webtoon im leaning towards SJ while watching the show
> 
> That being said, endgame is blatantly obvious, and I'm fine with it (it's hard not to be when both guys are easy to root for) so long as we get some nice moments between these two as well!
> 
> I hope this reads okay, as its been awhile since I dropped the webtoon. Hope you enjoyed this short piece regardless! Appreciate all thoughts and comments :)


End file.
